off to bed. a double at work tomorrow. my spider senses tell me i have a surprise trip ahead of me. i think i know where i'll be early November. could we make it late?
i think i have control.
repeating to those loose ends,
frayed waves saluting the wind,
i got this.
set my days up between sunrise and sunset
sunset and sunrise
swaying
i always knew this
i know nothing.
a skew view
feel. that's deeper than i've been these days.
i could go for a little of that
i'm feeling. its there,
happy, excited, afraid, sour, sore, hopeful, numb, sweet lemony.
is knowing a feeling?
internal healing?
i don't want to go there
disconnected. reflected perspective
seeping into this mirror deep.
overwhelming even me.
so much praise my way these days, people
those external things that walk around me
and remember the things I say
i'm only seeing their beauty. and they keep giving it back
except
it reminds me i am connected. you. me. us. love is all i got.
all
i
know
how
to be.
sometimes its crass. i'm too brazen.
i turned my curse long ago into a gift, my present.
this presence holding your story high
because i'm in there. liberated.
liberating you in me. makes sense, see.
lets dance, play and sing. tear down these fears and face travesty with a new thought.
it was there with the fear think all along. i see this, my inter connectivity sings.
its too much for me. haha.
the tangled mess i weave to simply not see
i'm not ready to go home,
stare down my mother's mortality.
and me, no feeling.
its there disconnecting.
its home, why would i ever feel anything? keep a page. lock it up tight. digesting. deer god,
let me sing
i'm going home. and i don't want to.
i don't got this.
i have no control.
at least i see.
witch means
i got this.
this going sucks, but i'll be fine.
dam it.
gurgled sigh,
four-year old temper rant
upward-facing dog into adult
collapse in surrender
will someone just hold me?
